Friday, February 29, 2008
Blogger finally allowed me entry, after 3 days, and my dad promptly went to off the modemn
but im finally back
Came online at 8 wanted to blog abt 400m finals
about how you were on my mind all the time
about how I only had to courage to push because of you
about how you flooded my mind the last 20m
but you've just thrown all those happy thoughts out of the window
single-handedly
I don even think you care, do you?
you say you do, you're not showing me.
After so many recent events, do you know its really hurtful?
that to put crudely as __ has said, im beginning to crack against my will
because I want this to go well,
I've tried my best wherever I can
have you?
I blame myself totally for the state I am in now reason undisclosed
but hey, I've considered many ways of typing this
since 2 weeks ago i've been struggling with myself
if I should even post since 2 weeks ago
i've been typing and deleting
since 2 minutes ago i've decided i cant take it any longer
the moment i heard there was sth wrong
my senses changed
my body turned
my heart stopped
all I thought was how to get you going again
but now, when im in the exact state
who's gonna be the one to get me going?
where are you?
why this distance?
why this silence?
why this ignorance?
somehow, tonight everything seems to hit me more than ever before
& I really comtemplated if I should post this
because I know you'll just tell me to give up on you after reading this
not knowing what I really wanted to get across :'(
i look at my jumpshot, and i really wonder is that person jumping in the air all smiles really me?